Just A Chapter
Closure.
One word. Seven letters. A minuscule, underrated concept that has the capability to deprive you of every possible joy in its absence. Seems quite the fancy word, used in books and movies, eluding the significance this single word holds. For our peace of mind, for our existence.
I’ve seen people write about beginnings and endings. I’ve seen people write about love and heart breaks. I’ve seen people talk about growth and falling apart. But nobody talks about closure, the epitome, the intersection area of the Venn diagram of sorrow and joy, the sole entity that can convert your existence from that of grief to happiness, and vice versa.
I had never given much thought about how significant and important it is to find closure. I was and am the sort of a person who faces a problem, tries to solve it (rather desperately) to find peace, solves/unable to solve the problem and at the end of it, stops thinking about it, at all.
Aren’t we all guilty of shoving all our problems, our unresolved issues under that imaginary “rug” where its existence seems to subside but it actually hasn’t? I’m guilty of that crime too. And it indeed is a crime, to oneself.
Why you ask?
Because we are depriving ourselves the grief, the sorrow that we need to face and find closure with it. You may wonder at this point, why do I need closure? I’m really good at forgetting everything that bothers me, everything that can break me apart. I’m quite fine, brave and strong to be okay with all of it. I have moved on…
NO. You are wrong. I was wrong too. The problem here with this super power of forgetting is that life has its rather ‘blissful’ methods to remind you again what you have kept under that beautiful rug of yours that says “moved on”. And when life does remind you of all those unresolved issues, you are on the highway to doom, this time.
For me, letting go of someone I love has always been a huge issue. A break up is a definite NO-NO. The last time I faced this break up, it left me quite devastated. The worst part of it was that I never found closure with that person. Henceforth, I decided that there’s no other possible way to get closure, so what do I do? You guessed that right, I forget the problem after a point of time without grieving about it or trying to find a good solution to the absence of that person in my life.
I close myself, talk to lesser people and generally avoid friendships or even conversations with strangers at all cost. Here, this is the exact place where I took the worst decision of my life. And it had to come bite me in the ass with the loss of a close friend from the “few” friends I already had.
I never thought how finding closure, which in this case was to accept that letting go is a part of life is the most important lesson I have to learn, I need to learn, for survival.
People are going to leave you. Brutally break apart from you. But you’re not supposed to run away, you have to find peace with it.
You may have not deserved it but guess what? It doesn’t matter.
This is how life works. Deal with it. And once you do, you'll truly feel good about life because you now have a tool, a mechanism to cope.
This concept applies to all the different parts of your life. You didn’t get your dream job, internship or promotion? Let go of that failure, by grieving it, by learning how to cope up the next time it happens. Deriving a lesson, a good one at that is a prerequisite to finding closure with situations and people in your life.
Nobody is going to tell you how to find it, you need to figure out that outlet on your own. But it’s important that you face your problems and find closure. A proper “good bye” is not your closure, like in novels or movies. Closure is subjective to what you choose it to be, whether it is a semicolon or a full stop.
It doesn’t need to involve another person. Closure from an issue comes from the acceptance within yourself that whatever happened to you, is OKAY! It’s not about you not deserving it, it’s about mastering the art, the biggest travesty that life offers you.
The strength to endure and survive and thrive.
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